The Art & Science of Wellbeing

Six Pathways to Elevating Your Happiness

Remember when I said that these posts were not going to read like academic articles because I’m a good time gal at heart, and I like to keep it light and fun? Weeeelllll…this one is flirting with that line between informational and entertaining.

BUT, if you’re the type of person who thinks information IS entertaining (and I suspect that you are) then this one is for you.

I thought it would be helpful to kick us off with a little bit of background on the lens through which I’ll be writing and sharing with you during our time together. Be assured that not all posts will be this long, but your reward for reading to the end is six actionable pathways to wellness! So it’s worth the read, in my very humble and completely unbiased opinion.

Let’s start with a little story time.

One sunny afternoon, a man named Martin was tending to his garden. Martin was a bright, passionate, and successful man who also happened to be a bit of grump.

On this particular day, he obviously didn’t want to get much gardening done because he invited his 5-year old daughter Nikki to join him. Nikki, like most children her age, was not particularly interested in learning about soil composition, pruning techniques, or the life cycle of lavender. Instead, she was interested in grabbing the weeds her father had painstakingly removed from the ground and throwing them in the air like confetti.

Garden party!

Grumpy Martin was - unsurprisingly- not amused. He snapped at Nikki to stop, which she begrudgingly did. Before heading inside to escape the dark cloud that was her father’s mood, she casually mentioned to him that since her 5th birthday, she had stopped complaining and whining. If she could change her whiny ways, surely he could learn to be less grouchy.

Many of us might have reminded little Nikki who was in charge around here and have her go think about the way she speaks to elders. But for Martin, this was an “aha!” moment.

You see, the Martin in question was Martin Seligman, a well-known and accomplished psychologist who had spent decades studying mental illness, and in particular, depression and learned helplessness. Nikki’s poignant statement made him realize that traditional psychology focused almost exclusively on pathology, healing disease and everything that’s wrong with people. But, what if it gave equal importance to learning how otherwise “well” individuals grow and thrive?

This is an important distinction because the absence of illness is not health. In fact, you (like me) may have had the experience of feeling totally “fine,” but not necessarily functioning at your best.

Martin and others took these insights and went on to develop an entire field of psychology called Positive Psychology, which applies scientific rigor to questions like, what makes people genuinely happy? What makes them feel fulfilled and resilient? What makes life worth living?

An Important Note

Positive psychology should not be confused with toxic positivity. As much as I enjoy a “good-vibes only” party every now and again, this is not that. And, although it’s sometimes referred to as the study of happiness, this branch of study is not a “happiology.”

Yes, positive psychology examines a wide range of positive human functioning (e.g., resilience, motivation, optimism), but it also recognizes that life is not always about being happy. Challenges, painful events, and disappointment are all part of the human experience.

In essence, positive psychology is a nuanced and holistic approach to understanding human potential, flourishing, and wellbeing - much broader and far deeper than simply chasing happiness.

Thanks to more than three decades of research in this space, we now have six science-backed pathways to flourishing, which I’ll share with you here.

Six Pathways to Wellbeing

At the heart of positive psychology is something called the PERMA-V model. Doesn’t really roll off the tongue, does it? Let’s call it the the “Flourishing Flower” for today because that’s alliterative.

An artist, I am not. But I made this. I’m pretty proud.

This is the foundational theory that Seligman and others developed to identify six core elements of psychological wellbeing and happiness, each of which contributes to our overall sense of fulfillment and life satisfaction.

If you are feeling dissatisfied in your life or sense that you are lacking in some way, but you can’t quite pinpoint why, there is a good chance you’re low on one or more of these pathways.

To be clear, it’s unrealistic to expect that all of these pathways will be in equilibrium at all times. Life is messy and everchanging and there may be times when you simply aren’t able to focus on any one of these things.

For example, if you just had a baby and are barely surviving that newborn “bliss,” you may not be as focused on achievement. Your only goals may be to remember to eat and occasionally wash your hair. That’s ok. The important part is simply to be aware of which pathways rank lower for you and then attend to them when it makes sense to.

Let’s briefly explore each of the six pathways to flourishing and lasting wellbeing, shall we?

Positive Emotions

This pathway relates to how frequently you experience positive emotions. Beyond feeling happy, how often do you experience other important positive emotions like, hope, joy, gratitude, motivation, awe, pride, love, serenity, and inspiration? The point isn’t to always BE positive or to exclusively feel positive emotions, but to NET positive in the grand scheme of your day, week, life.

Notice or reflect on moments when you feel genuine joy or gratitude. How you can create more of these moments throughout your day?

Engagement

This pathway is all about being “in the zone” or feeling a sense of “flow.” This happens when you are so absorbed in an activity that you don’t notice the passage of time; you forget to eat or use the restroom. You’re just fully present in the moment you’re in.

Identify activities that make you lose track of time and find ways to incorporate them more regularly into your life.

Relationships

Of all the pathways, this one may be the most important. Research shows the biggest differentiator between people who are very happy and people who are very unhappy is the quality of their relationships. Maintaining strong, healthy, and supportive connections with others is a key component of wellbeing, even impacting your physical health.

Think about the important relationships in your life. How you can nurture these connections further?

Meaning

This pathway is about finding a sense of purpose and belonging and feeling connected to something bigger than yourself.

Think about what gives your life meaning. Do your daily activities align with your sense of purpose?

Achievement

This pathway relates to pursuing and achieving objectives that provide a sense of accomplishment and success. It’s about striving for and attaining goals, no matter how big or small.

List recent achievements, big or small, that made you feel accomplished. Set new goals that are meaningful to you.

Vitality

This pathway is about taking care of your physical body - getting adequate rest, nutrition, and movement.

Which of your current habits fuel your physical health and which ones are hurting it?

Nurturing the Flourishing Flower

Each of the six pathways to wellbeing gives you a framework to systematically build a more fulfilling and satisfying life. How can you apply them?

1. Write Down the Elements of Flourishing in Your Life

   Take some time to reflect on each element of the Flourishing Flower and write down how each one is currently present in your life. For example, under "Positive Emotions," you might note moments from your day that bring you joy or contentment. For "Relationships," list the people who provide support and joy in your life. This step is simply about creating more awareness about how you’re living your life.

2. Set a Wellbeing Goal:

   Based on your reflection, identify one area within the Flourishing Flower that you’d like to enhance. Set a goal to improve that aspect of your wellbeing. For example, if you decide to focus on "Engagement," your goal might be to dedicate 30 minutes a day to an activity that you find engaging and fulfilling, like reading or painting.

   I don’t recommend focusing on more than one area at a time. I’ve made this mistake many a time, and it always leads to overwhelm, frustration, and ultimately, “failure” and disappointment. Trust that enhancing even just one of these areas will make a noticeably positive impact on your life.

In upcoming posts, I’ll be sharing more specific ways you can build on these pathways. For now, I’d love to hear what resonated with you, what insights you may have discovered about yourself, or which one of these areas are you most excited to explore.

See you next week, and stay well, friends!